Over a Cup of Coffee

A great conversation happens when there’s good dialogue and good information is exchanged.  Whether your engaged in a casual conversation, an interview, a discussion in a meeting—in person, over the phone, on-line—or whether you’re asking or answering the questions, good conversations have a sense of rhythm.

How can you tell if there’s rhythm to your conversations?

• There is a presence, a sense of being and staying in the moment with each other. 

• There is a comfortable, relaxed atmosphere. 

• There is a natural flow to the dialogue.

• There is a feeling of spontaneity, even if there is a structure and time constraints.   

• There is a connection between the people who become a team interested in a positive outcome.

• There is recognition that silence is okay.  A pause won’t break the natural flow.  

• There is trust. Participants are confident and relying on each other.

When there is a planned conversation—an interview or a meeting—it’s important to come prepared with good questions and meaningful agendas.

Yet, the lack of honest, straightforward dialogue seems to be the key to most problems in the workplace—and elsewhere. Why are so many people so bad at it? Problem solving takes time and effort, and time can be a precious commodity. Rather than get to the root of the problem people react and hope to move on. It seems easier to offer an explanation, excuse or apology.

So how do you get to the root of the issues? Start by asking the following and take the time to listen:

• Can you describe the situation and give me a specific example of what happened?

• Can you explain the issue to me as you see it?

• Can we start at the beginning?

Regardless the setting, a good conversation should have the feel of sitting across the table from each other over a cup of coffee.

April is Workplace Conflict Awareness Month. Since conversation and dialogue are at the heart of conflict we will be talking about it more next week. Look for our newsletter and be sure to follow our posts this month. For more resources, check out our books about conflict on our website.