Creativity, Conflict and Citizenship
I recently heard a great talk entitled Creating Writers, Creating Citizens, from a creative writing teacher, Mary Collins. She spoke of the skills we need to teach all citizens in order to reclaim our public discourse—how to share ideas, listen to those we don’t agree with, be open to changing our minds, and discerning between fact and fiction.
The timing was ironic since I had just published our blog post Communication and Conflict. She spoke about listening and how it differs from hearing. Listening requires us to interpret, evaluate and respond.
Collins quoted some interesting facts about listening. Did you know:
The average person likely recalls 10% of what they hear? (Writers, on the other hand, recall 50%.)
Listening skills predict success better than reading skills or aptitude tests?
Better listeners make better readers and better writers?
Since this talk was given to a group of writers, Collins discussed some of the tenets she employs in her writing workshops, especially when receiving feedback on their work:
Listen to others
Remain open to suggestions
Respect others may hold different values
Understand the differences between storytelling and opinion
I told her that these sounded very similar to the guidelines I’ve used in my workshops, especially if I were speaking about diversity and differences or conflict.
Collins is passionate about developing the necessary skills to make us all better communicators and story sharers (I love this term) during these fractious and divisive times. Much of this passion comes from her personal experience—the mother of a transgender son.
As a way to overcome their differences, Mary Collins and her son, Donald Collins, wrote a collaborative memoir, At the Broken Places: A Mother and Trans Son Pick Up the Pieces. She shared many stories of this journey, including issues and emotions that arose from audience members when they were invited to speak—animosity, anger, and inability to respect differences.
It all ties right back to the ability to give information (or feedback), receive information (or feedback) and processing information (or feedback). The inability to do this is often at the heart of conflict as Barbara and I discuss in The Essential Workplace Conflict Handbook.
During the Q&As, one attendee asked for advice. She mistakenly had referred to a nonbinary individual as she, rather than they. Although she quickly caught herself and apologized, offense was taken and the conversation spiraled into a negative space. “What could I have done differently?” she asked. Collins explained that this was a lost opportunity. I agreed. Rather than become defensive and shut the conversation down, they could have used it as an opportunity to encourage dialogue, as we discuss in The Conflict Resolution Phrase Book.
I left the workshop with a copy of Mary Collins and Donald Collins book. Once I’ve had a chance to read it, I’ll report back. In the meantime, check out her website www.marycollinswriter.com.
Remember that while Workplace Conflict Awareness Month may be ending, it’s important to practice positive conflict resolution all year.